tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post8330216299741314324..comments2023-07-17T09:55:04.909-04:00Comments on Eva Marie Everson's Southern Voice: Friday's Southern-Style Faith (Our Story Continues)Eva Marie Eversonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15159409003924304308noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-22282958309978021292012-07-26T11:17:54.094-04:002012-07-26T11:17:54.094-04:00Deborah,
How do we change this? It appears so BI...Deborah, <br /><br />How do we change this? It appears so BIG, but I believe change can happen.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12496903539850226981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-68802177296217450732012-07-26T11:10:51.339-04:002012-07-26T11:10:51.339-04:00Agree. Best. Line. Yet.
Love Eva's passion. A...Agree. Best. Line. Yet.<br /><br />Love Eva's passion. Admire her honesty. Praying.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12496903539850226981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-57038577228921605542012-07-23T12:56:12.244-04:002012-07-23T12:56:12.244-04:00Well said!Well said!Eva Marie Eversonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15159409003924304308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-63640851763431082582012-07-23T12:55:59.718-04:002012-07-23T12:55:59.718-04:00Thank you...Thank you...Eva Marie Eversonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15159409003924304308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-53756074069398617442012-07-22T17:29:04.000-04:002012-07-22T17:29:04.000-04:00A number of years ago, I've forgotten just whi...A number of years ago, I've forgotten just which one,I watched Eva and her precious J together at a conference for writers/speakers. The love between them was obvious and J was a happy girl, full of delight and hope in her future with Eva. I'm so sorry this mental illness descended upon that beautiful girl. I stand with you and your family before the throne of God seeking His answers, His healing, His intervention. Never has a girl received more love and more prayer. I pray your well directed and earnest steps to help her will yet bear fruit. Standing with you for J's future, Mary TatemAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-34412601226342595932012-07-22T00:20:31.822-04:002012-07-22T00:20:31.822-04:00I would like to offer my professional opinion abou...I would like to offer my professional opinion about this situation. I have worked with high-risk children for many years as a foster care social worker (SWIII) and in-home family therapist working with DSS, mental health centers, and the Methodist Home for Children in North Carolina for over 20 years before becoming a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. I've watched this landslide of bureacratic mismanagement from afar and could so clearly see what was happening, and honestly, I am not surprised.<br /><br />I have worked with many teens like J. through the years. Deeply emotionally wounded early in life, they are taken and placed in loving homes, only to viciously turn on the very same people who have attempted to love them and give them a home. Children like this have personality disorders, usually borderline personality disorder cocurrent with physiological imbalances like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Their view of the world and their place in it is warped. One classic symptom of emerging Borderline PD is the sudden (and sometimes violent) turning on people that they claim to love. The truth is, these children don't know how to love. They only know how to pretend to love to get their very basic needs for safety met, a skill learned early in life to cope with their chaotic and painful childhoods. Some become so severe as to form Reactive Attachment Disorder, the inability to truly attach to anyone at all, even their own child. Paradoxically, it is when they get into a safe place that they begin to act out their very deep and frightening anger at the world. They misdirect that anger at the very people that made them safe in the first place! <br /><br />I know first hand how easy it is to be manipulated by these children, who are often very bright and convincing. And, I'm not saying that they all are lying. Sadly, on rare occasions their stories are true.But when there is a clear diagnosis of mental illness, no evidence to substantiate wild accusations, threats of violence and sick behaviors and their cases are being managed by social workers who clearly are young and inexperienced and may have lost their objectivity, there is a recipe for disaster. Not only are good people devastated emotionally, financially, and socially, but the child is learning that manipulations, lies, and acting bizarre 1. gets a lot of attention 2. feeds their desperate need for power and control over others 3. and feeds the need for vengeance for wrongs done to them early in life. In other words, J. gets to do to the Everson's what was done to her, and if someone doesn't confront her with that, then she may one day do it to her own children as well.<br /><br />I am deeply sad for this child and this family. They all have been deeply wronged. Although I believe it is safer for both J. and the Everson's to have J. removed from their home, to have them be denied parental rights and to treat them as the enemy here has been a miscarriage of justice and a prime example of social work at its worst.<br /><br />I understand. Careers are at stake, jobs can be lost, and after all, social workers are all overworked, underpaid, and not trained to deal with sick children--at least not to the extent they should be. I deeply respect the unsung heroes of social work. The job is brutal at best. But it wasn't until I became a therapist that I really learned how much I didn't know when I was a social worker and how much the system has deterioriated in the last ten years. Its scary to think how often this is happening and how many lives are being destroyed in the process.I hope someone has the courage to stand up and do the right thing.<br /><br />Deborah B. Dunn,LMFT<br />www.deborahdunn.comDeborah Dunnhttp://www.deborahdunn.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-58289553092779163742012-07-21T09:21:03.752-04:002012-07-21T09:21:03.752-04:00Our stories are different in ways and yet much the...Our stories are different in ways and yet much the same in others. Fractured families are among us and please, each one reading this post, pray, pray, pray, I beg you. <br />Eva, you know you captured my heart long ago and I pray daily for you and your daughters.Donna Collins Tinsleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01448349920680475127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-19542108497231291012012-07-21T08:56:54.957-04:002012-07-21T08:56:54.957-04:00"You cannot pray hard enough or love deep eno..."You cannot pray hard enough or love deep enough and think that mental health issues and illnesses will just go away."<br />Best. Line. Yet.<br /><br />Thanks for your willingness to speak out, Eva. Once again, you're my hero, and I'm praying.Marti Pieperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05628490923094628107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-71149912342537173692012-07-20T22:30:56.217-04:002012-07-20T22:30:56.217-04:00You know my feelings on the FL system. We cannot e...You know my feelings on the FL system. We cannot even be foster parents. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So sorry they feel the need to tear your family apart rather than offer support.Kathy Casselhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02886511489428522492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-53125405764165807092012-07-20T22:08:03.211-04:002012-07-20T22:08:03.211-04:00Continuing to remember you all in prayer.
HugsContinuing to remember you all in prayer.<br />HugsKristi Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16028243971764320954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-22472978430519602072012-07-20T18:24:39.622-04:002012-07-20T18:24:39.622-04:00Lori, what a shame we don't live in RI ... :( ...Lori, what a shame we don't live in RI ... :( <br /><br />Florida is known for losing kids. Now I know why.Eva Marie Eversonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15159409003924304308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-19824860424026522212012-07-20T18:00:31.828-04:002012-07-20T18:00:31.828-04:00In RI, I work for a "wrap-around" progra...In RI, I work for a "wrap-around" program which tries to keep children with serious emotional disorders or children at risk of abuse/neglect in their homes and surround their families with the supports they need to remain together, safe, and healthy. It's often agonizing to sort through the stories vs the facts and make the best decision for the child. I don't know if they have wraparound in Florida but it's been useful in RI because facilitators spend hours with a family seeing the situation first-hand and are often able to discern the truth (sometimes, the child is the healthy one and the parents suffer from the untreated mental illness.) I'm so sorry you've had to endure this painful experience with such one-sided decisions.Lori Stanley Roeleveldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02100003378571490221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-28745190495431685102012-07-20T17:26:17.182-04:002012-07-20T17:26:17.182-04:00I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Pray...I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Praying for your entire family.Mary Englund Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16138384247846480675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-78087705533404065132012-07-20T14:57:23.624-04:002012-07-20T14:57:23.624-04:00*hug* praying daily*hug* praying dailyKathleen Brunerhttp://www.rogerbruner.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-44698627647912802872012-07-20T14:43:26.962-04:002012-07-20T14:43:26.962-04:00These DCF and CBC actions make no sense. None. It ...These DCF and CBC actions make no sense. None. It doesn't take a rocket scientist or a list of degrees to see how far off-base they are. I've watched this unfold over the years and even as one who is normally a rule-follower, I have seen that these rules and guidelines and plans make no sense. And apparently the people at DCF and CBC aren't astute enough to see it. <br /><br />To believe a mentally-ill child and let her make all the decisions while in the grips of her mental illness? Good grief. <br /><br />Continuing to pray for J. God have mercy...Vonda Skeltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15709374938210704402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-38042671529722424902012-07-20T14:35:52.450-04:002012-07-20T14:35:52.450-04:00My heart breaks for you, too. As a grandmother, I ...My heart breaks for you, too. As a grandmother, I cannot imagine if we could not see our precious ones.Eva Marie Eversonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15159409003924304308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-70518776233945990582012-07-20T14:07:51.417-04:002012-07-20T14:07:51.417-04:00Grateful for your candor and honesty. Very saddene...Grateful for your candor and honesty. Very saddened by your pain. Life is such a journey of surrender and trust with lots of opportunity for both. Glad you're telling it straight.<br /> <br />Praying today.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06941827904676775715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-89782132551311849532012-07-20T14:00:34.469-04:002012-07-20T14:00:34.469-04:00Eva, my heart goes out to you. I appreciate your f...Eva, my heart goes out to you. I appreciate your frankness in telling about the idiocracy of the system. My 3 yr-old grandson is being withheld from his father and his grandparents (us) by his mother who knows the system well enough to use it for her own purposes. What's good for the child does not seem to matter to DCF - only what the mother wants is what they listen to. Despite the fact that she's moved six times in one year, taking her other two children out of school, shacking up with new boyfriends, etc., yet we have no rights or power over what she does. I feel so badly for the children involved, not to mention my son. And of course we miss our grandson terribly.Marilynhttp://pathwayheart.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5015795886208691084.post-51434353341960387522012-07-20T13:42:30.685-04:002012-07-20T13:42:30.685-04:00I continue to pray for Jo -- that godly interventi...I continue to pray for Jo -- that godly intervention will get her the help she needs and bring her back to you. I also pray for grace and strength for you and those who truly love her -- and that the airing of the truth will bring about substantive changes in the system.Janet McHenryhttp://www.janetmchenry.comnoreply@blogger.com